What is Repentance Anyway?

Martin Luther, in the first of his 95 theses, said

When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said “Repent,” he intended that the entire life of believers should be repentance.

But what does this even mean? So often in our lives we find ourselves in situations where we have done wrong and though it can be difficult, we say the words ‘I’m sorry’ though every instinct we have resists. Is this then enough? A phrase that is difficult for us to say, but over in an instant? Or did Christ and his Word intend far more than well-meaning apologies.

I recently found myself listening to a wise pastor talking about this very subject and he painted a complete picture of what repentance is. He said imagine you’re a tree and another person has begun hacking at you with an axe. He is doing you harm and this is sin. Biblical repentance consists of first, stop chopping. Do no more harm. Second, try and patch the hole you’ve created. Do your best to repair the damage. Finally, break your axe. Create tangible steps and processes to help prevent the same sin from ever happening in the future. It was that last piece I think we so often miss.

Regardless, this word picture stuck with me and I began to dwell on what a life of repentance looks like and what true repentance is between two fallen individuals. I stumbled upon a short book, The Doctrine of Repentance, by the Puritan, Thomas Watson. What I was most struck by in reading the book was how concerned Watson was with discerning true repentance from it’s many imitators. And related to that, how many things that look like contrition are actually deceits we perpetrate on ourselves.

To that end, Watson gives three types of counterfeit repentance to be wary of.

1. Legal Terror: In short, this is the horror one feels at realizing the magnitude of sin, and being burdened by the potential consequences of that sin. “Sense of guilt is enough to breed terror in the conscience. Only infusion of divine grace, breeds true repentance.”
2. Resolution Against Sin: Watson’s point here is that white-knuckling effort to ‘just be better’ is no true repentance, but rather a reliance on self. It seems effort on our part is necessary, but only after true repentance. “Trust not to a such passionate resolution; it is raised in a storm — and will die in a calm!”
3. Trading One Sin for Another: Watson warns again the swapping of sins. “He who was profligate in his youth, turns to be a miser in his hold age.”

Watson also outlines six ingredients for true repentance, stating that if any one element is left out, then the repentance loses it’s virtue.

1. Sight of sin (eyes opened to sinful reality)
2. Sorrow for sin
3. Confession of sin (voluntary, with remorse, sincere, names specific sins)
4. Shame for sin
5. Hatred for sin
6. Turning from sin (including restoration/reconciliation)

I would argue that steps 2, 3, and 6 are typically the most observable in others, while for ourselves step 1 is the most memorable.

In others, whether our fellow church members, spouses, kids, et. al, a big sign of true repentance is when the sin is freely confessed of instead of discovered. However, I’d caution us to not offer manipulative confessions. One example I find myself falling into is confessing something quickly, and then trying to move forward in the conversation as soon as possible. We also must guard against confessing in hopes of securing a confession from someone else. Both of those motivations are tainted with self-protective pride. True confession means taking stock of how we’ve hurt others and even soliciting their feedback on how we’ve hurt them and how we can make amends.

Secondly, the sorrow for sin should not be self-focused. I am so encouraged when I hear ‘I’m so deeply saddened by how I’ve hurt you and dishonored God’ rather than ‘I’m so sad this is happening to me.’ If we make our sorrow for sin about us, we’re falling right back into the trap of a self-centered worldview.

Finally, turning from sin is another strong signal that the Lord is doing something in people’s hearts. Now, I find that turning from sin over months and years is much more indicative of the Lord’s work than simple days or weeks.

All of this suggests that repentance truly is a Godly discipline to be pursued as prayer and scripture reading are pursued. We’ve got to work at it over time instead of trying to minimize our vulnerability.