Sexual Abuse and the Church
Harvey Weinstein, Roy Moore, Bill Clinton, Kevin Spacey, Louis C.K. and the list of sexual abusers grows and grows as the days go by. I believe the New York Times has a running list and over 80 ‘prominent’ people have been named as abusers. There have been many public apologies, remonstrations, and outcries. Perhaps I’m a bit skeptical, but Hollywood can spare me its hand-wringing, I remember Meryl Streep and company giving Roman Polanski a standing ovation at the Oscars.
The general numbers are shocking. One in five people have been sexually assaulted or abused in some way (1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men). As these stories continue to gain traction, various writers are revealing systems and structures that enable such sexual abuse, from Hollywood to Washington to my particular concern, the church. Horrifically, the church is yet another institution that has been complicit at times in matters of sexual crime.
One writer has taken a deeper look at the evangelical Christian world. Roy Moore, who lost the Senate race in Alabama, became the flash point for this attention. Since then, Rachael Denhollander’s story, of her leading the charge against Larry Nassar’s decades of abuse, showed us what courage at an individual level looks like. Yet, suspicion remains about how evangelical structures have responded to sexual abuse scenarios. Denhollander herself raises some of those. Without delving into the specifics of the Sovereign Grace scandal, it is clear that at best, Christian institutions don’t know what to do in circumstances of sexual abuse and at worst, instinctively defend their own instead of doing whatever it takes to stop predators.
I found myself instinctively wanting to defend evangelicals, since I loosely identify as one (though given some of the people bearing that title, I am getting closer and closer to being done with the term). Yes, some home-school cultures are extraordinarily apt for child abusers, yes, some church leaders have horrifyingly defended abusers and attacked victims but these must be relatively isolated cases right? But I’m quickly disabused of this explanatory rationalization, largely because I was sexual assaulted by a member of my church growing up.
As a victim, what I want to say to those in positions of power in local congregations is relatively straight-forward. If you encounter this type of evil in your congregation, shout it out. Do not remain quiet. Bring in the authorities. Do not try to solve this sin ‘in house.’ Set up structures and procedures to protect your sheep. Boz Tchividjian has done great work in providing resources for churches to enact this very type of preventative measures. If this type of abuse is being perpetrated by leaders/pastors/elders, after immediately notifying the police, you must also tell the congregation. For too long, shame and silence have combined to make this sin go unchallenged by Christians. Remember too that when judgement comes, it begins with God’s people, then the world. Act accordingly. Fear God more than any social, judicial, or financial consequences.
To others who may have faced similar types of assault, I can only offer that which has helped me reconcile what happened to me with the fact that we have a loving God. Simply put, it’s the cross, but specifically the idea of expiation as it relates to the atoning work of Christ. This is a fancy word, but what it means is that Christ can cleanse us. He not only atones for the sins we’ve committed (a glorious miracle in of itself) but he has also cleansed us from the affects of sin others have committed against us.
That’s a fairly theological exploration of the concept, but how does that practically help someone, who like me, feels the anger and shame of being a sexual abuse victim. Christ tells us to give our burdens to him, to turn over all un-justice and unrighteousness. What does this mean? It means letting go, it means releasing that small corner of our hearts that holds on to bitterness, anger, resentment, and shame. It means letting Christ have that. In other words, it means forgiveness and in return, we get the joy and peace that only Christ can provide.
Let me be clear, this does not mean ‘pretend it did not happen’ or ‘shut up about it.’ For me, I wasn’t able to be in a strong enough mental state to confront my abuser as a 6 year old or even 13 year old. By the time I was, my abuser was long gone. If you are, if you have the courage to be like Rachael Denhollander, you are giving a gift to other victims and potential victims that cannot be measured. If you have the strength to bring charges and deal with obstacles, pursue it. On the flip side, if you can’t, if what you need to heal is time away from the constant mental strain of dealing with abuse, do that. That also requires courage. Do whatever it takes to protect yourself and heal.
But we can also trust God for his justice. In this life, that means working with governmental authorities that have been put in place to restrain and punish behavior like this. In the next life, only God’s judgement remains. Our God is no lover of child abuse, apart from Christ, those who abuse will face far greater consequences than we could dream of. Forgoing our own revenge by forgiving gives us peace, and likely greater judgement for those who abused us.
May that day of judgement come soon.
